Sometimes it's enough

I sat in bed last night, frustrated with myself for not having a more productive Saturday.  The same thing had happened the previous Saturday - the list of things I could have done seems a mile long - the house is a mess, there are more crafts I want to do than hours in the day to complete them;, productive errands I could run, and yet we've had a lazy couple of Saturdays.  But I can't continue to beat myself up about all the things I didn't do, it makes me feel bad about the time I spend just enjoying my family.

Yesterday I went shopping with Sara, took her to a birthday party, then came home and baked Resurrection rolls and dyed Easter eggs with both kids. We had a blast combining food coloring in different ways to make the different colored eggs.

I've been watching Harry Potter movies and reading the books with David in the evenings, and coloring with Sara, or playing tea party or vacation house with her many babies.  They both love to call "4 person wrestle!" and jump on the bed with Corey and me, and I posted on Facebook about how sweet is is that David sets his alarm each night so that he can wake up early enough to snuggle with me.  And I smile every time I hear Sara saying "loosually" instead of "usually."

Han Foldo and Fortune Wookie

While I already miss the baby and toddler stages of their lives, I know that this sweet stage of childhood won't last forever either.  Soon they won't be looking to me for approval of their art, or play, much less setting an alarm to spend more time with me! Sara's in a stage of "I want to spend all day all the time with you!" which of course makes me feel guilty as I go off to work or to rehearsal for a gig.  I think we're all counting down the days until Spring Break, and I'm looking forward to that block of time with both of them.

Yes I could, and should, spend less time on screens and more time reading or sewing, doing something that I enjoy and actually feels productive.  While we're at it, I should be taking better care of my body too, something I'm going to try to work on starting this week.  But I'm not the perfect wife/mom/housekeeper/or teacher (I've found myself getting more impatient with my students too, and am trying to nip that urge to raise my voice first), and I have to forgive myself and move on, because regretting what I could have done isn't helping.

Sometimes you have a lazy Saturday and enjoy quality time with your kids.  Sometimes just getting through the lesson is enough, and every class doesn't have to end with an engaging, high-energy activity.  Sometimes the clutter is going to build up, and that's okay too, because we have clean bodies, clothes, and dishes.  I have a list of things about a mile long to get done over the break, but I'm not going to beat myself up if I don't get to every one of them. Because spending time with these sweet faces is going to be at the top of that list.

Mountain top moment

(Written 9/20/2015)
So the last Friday of August was a high point in my career for sure. I was named Teacher of the Year at Bay Creek, the school I started teaching at last year. The whole thing was so surreal, I just wish I could lock it in my brain forever.

I was nominated the first week of school, and filled out the application that weekend. When 3 administrators came in my room that Thursday, I thought I was in for a doozy of an observation or that one of my students was in major trouble, but it was to announce that I was a finalist! My teaching was taped on the following Monday, then 2 days to vote, and the announcement came at Friday's faculty meeting.

The other two candidates were awesome 8th grade teachers, and I would not have had hurt feelings if either of them won. We were all called up front and I was announced - and got a standing ovation! I just want to freeze the smile on my principal's face in my mind. All sorts of pictures followed, then I was announced to the kids on the morning news show - and they were so sweet all day long! High fives and congratulations from kids I didn't even know, hugs from teacher friends, I even had a tiara to wear - I felt like royalty all day!

 This is me and my tiara, along with just a tiny bit of the amazing gift baskets that were put together by one of my APs - it was seriously untoppable, gift cards and certificates to tons of places - and even a week at a beach condo!

David and Sara were super sweet about it when I got home, having heard the news from Facebook through my dad.  Huge hugs and they have been telling people "My mommy is teacher of the year!" ever since.  Corey offered to take me out to eat when he got home, but going out to eat on a Friday is often more exhausting than relaxing for me, so he went out and picked up Mellow Mushroom, one of my favorites.
I've made it to the semi-finals of county teacher of the year - which meant another 2 rounds of applications, and even a photo shoot! It would be really cool to make it to the top 6, but then I would also feel a lot of pressure to make top 3 or even GCPS TOTY!  I think I would enjoy making it more for my school and admin than I would for myself.  Either way, it's been a very cool ride and an amazing start to the new school year!